All of the new reboots and remakes coming out in the next few years are not news, but it just gives me tired head. Don’t get me wrong, there are a few titles on the list that do have me a bit excited, but for the most part, it just makes me weep for the lack of creativity. I am going to try and keep my NERD RAGE under control with this one, but I make no guarantees.
Just to list a few of the reboots/remakes coming out in 2016 that makes me leery:
• The Magnificent Seven (yes you read that correctly)
• Friday the 13th (again, this time as a prequel)
• Amityville: The Reawakening
The remake of Jumanji is actually infuriating because it is Sony’s attempt to capitalize on our nostalgic love for the late Robin Williams. Yes, this has been in the works for a bit, but I have no doubt Sony execs made a big push for this to be release in 2016 so Williams’s death and the good memories of watching his movies are still fairly fresh in movie goer’s brains. Totally my opinion so I have no proof to back that up. Disney has also released their plans to do a live action remake of Aladdin and a prequel focusing on the genies. Williams supplied the voice for the Genie. There is significantly less outrage about this one because Disney is doing this with all of their popular cartoon movies and it stood to reason this one was coming soon even before Williams’s death. Sony came off as greedy and insensitive on this one and has felt one hell of a backlash for it. I wonder if that will hold come Christmas of 2016.
The Magnificent Seven remake is going to not be good despite its pretty stellar cast. I mean you got Chris Pratt, Matt Bomer, Denzel Washington, Vincent D’Onofrio, Ethan Hawke, Cam Gigandet, and Peter Sarsgaard. That is a seriously good cast, but the film has the supremely bland Antoine Fuqua directing. Talk about star power killer. That man takes interesting concepts with a great cast and manages to make a supremely boring and unimaginative movie with it. Now I know several of you are going to say, “What about Training Day?” That movie was good because Washington gave it his everything, it had nothing to do with Fuqua’s directing. Go and take a look at that man’s IMDb page and try to tell me he does not make bland action movies.
The all-female Ghostbusters remake is going to be interesting one way or another because it will either be super genius, or it will be a spectacular failure and may end up being next year’s Fantastic Four in that the behind the scenes drama is more interesting than the movie.
The horror stuff just makes me have tired head. The Friday the 13th prequel is being done by Platinum Dunes which has remade every horror classic into a boring mess.
This is just the list for 2016, there are a whole horde more coming up soon. Like the plethora of
piñatas live action remakes of beloved cartoons from Disney. A big part of me is not bitching too hard about those just yet because so far I like what they have done with most of them. And then there is the reboot of Batman coming up, you may have heard some things about it. Something about a Spider-Man reboot in there too.
The sequels coming up are just as cringe worthy:
• Bad Boys 3 – 2017
• Bad Boys 4 – 2019
• Resident Evil 36 – 2017 (Supposedly it is the last one)
• Paranormal Activity 26 (Again Supposedly the last one)
• Underworld 15
• Ouija 2
• More Freaking Pirates of the Caribbean
• Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2 (that makes it 3 Michael “Blow Shit up” Bay movies on this list)
And somehow there will be a Fantastic Four sequel in there too as soon as Fox figures out how to not fuck this one up. The answer to that question is give it back to Marvel. Speaking of, there is also the mass amount of Marvel sequels coming out in the next few years as well and let us not forget Star Wars. I geek out too hard over those movies, but it does get exhausting when I think about it.
I guess I just miss the fun and excitement of a movie that you don’t know what it is about before you go to see it. I loved movies like Cloverfield, Super 8, Tomorrowland was a bit preachy but it was good, It Follows was super scary, hell the original Paranormal Activity had me paranoid about sleeping for a few days. Don’t get me wrong, I am super excited about the some of the movies coming out that are sequels and reboots, but I miss healthy dose of something new in there too.
What do you guys think? Are there too many reboots and sequels coming down the pike? Which ones give you tired head? Is there any cringe worthy reboots I missed? Let me know in the comments section.