American Horror Story: Hotel – You only get one love

Just hope your love does not belong to The Countess first.

Spoilers for “Room 33”

More chaos for the lives of those at the Hotel Cortez as our twisted tale continues.

The episode starts off with The Countess giving birth to something that loves blood in 1926. Who got her pregnant and why she looked ready to pop at three weeks, we don’t know. But the baby, known as Bartholomew, still lives to this day in room 33. The residences who work for The Countess help her take care of baby Bart while she goes to Paris to continue to woo Will Drake. He finds her desirable, but his body is not attracted to her. Tristan to the rescue (whether he wants to or not).

Photo Courtesy of FX and American Horror Story Twitter Feed

Photo Courtesy of FX and American Horror Story Twitter Feed

While The Countess enjoys her holiday, Iris tips off Ramona and Donavan to her absence and the three of them look to kill her vampire children and the baby. Donavan squees out at the last minute and decides to go and get one more whiff of The Countess while he can. Iris is all about it. She doesn’t hate the vampire children or even the baby, in a strange way she loves them. She does hate The Countess and is willing to kill a group of children and Alex for revenge. The vampire children are not in the pool (more on why soon) and Ramona charges Iris with taking care of them as soon as she can. Ramona needs to go and take care of the one baby The Countess care for more than anyone. While she tries to kill baby Bart, he attacks her and manages to escape his room. After a grand adventure around the Hotel Cortez, then to John’s house, baby Bart gets hurt after John shoots him. Alex ends up finding the baby at the house and takes him back to the hotel where The Countess is grateful for Alex’s care. After only seeing baby Bart in shadow and things from his prospective, we finally see his face and it is truly only a face a mother could love.

Poor John falls further down the rabbit hole thanks to a big shove from Alex in this episode. He wakes up in his hotel bed with Holden there waiting for him. Holden gets John to follow him down to the pool and where he sees the coffins with the other vampire children sleeping in them and Alex asleep with Holden. John does the only appropriate thing one can do when faced with this situation, and faints. Alex gives him some sedatives and puts him back in his room while she and Liz hide the coffins and the children. The fact that Liz calls her Nanny McPhee is just fabulous. After John wakes up, Alex tries to tell him it was all a dream and he needs to leave the hotel to gain back his sanity. John refuses. So Alex enlists the two Norwegian tourists from the first couple of episodes to mess with his brain so he will freak and leave. And boy does he freak the hell out after the tourists sleep with him and cover him with their blood. I think the final kicker was Mr. March showing up in his room and telling him he is glad to see John “finally checking in.”

Photo Courtesy of FX and American Horror Story Twitter Feed

John decides he has had enough of the mind fuck that is the Hotel Cortez and packs his bags. Baby Bart decides to be a little stowaway in his suitcase.

John picks up Scarlett who tells him that she has not talked to Alex in over two days and is mad at the both of them for abandoning her. Frankly I’m starting to think that poor child might be better off with her grandmother. John doesn’t make things better when he sees baby Bart in his kitchen and shoots at him, scaring the living daylights out of poor Scarlett who is just watching cartoons. Alex has John’s old partner return Scarlett to her grandmother’s house and tells John to sleep it off so he can take care of Scarlett. He tries to get her to stay, it is her house too, but she tells him no. He immediately understands that she is going to go back to the hotel, and when she tries to play dumb, he lets her know he is not falling for her lies.

Liz and Tristan find love in one another and this development made me really happy. They seemed like they would be really good for one another. Liz gives Tristan actual books to read and looks at him like he is the one thing making his day. Tristan sees and treats Liz like she is a real heterosexual woman and loves her for who she is. It is a shame it could not last especially since Liz is my favorite character on the show and I want to see her happy. Liz confesses her love for Tristan to The Countess because she can’t wait for her to get bored with him, she is not immortal. Tristan tells The Countess that she only loves him because eventually she can break his heart and with Liz it is something real. The Countess tells Liz she can have Tristan and promptly slits his throat. My heart just breaks for poor Liz, she has spent her life trying to just live on as she wishes and finally finds someone to love her, only to have him taken from her. She should have taken Ramona’s advice and ran with Tristan when she had the chance. Now Liz may end up joining Ramona on her quest to take The Countess down.

An interesting tidbit we learned from Donavan this episode is anyone who dies in the Hotel Cortez is doomed to walk the hallways for eternity. I kinda already got that feeling, but I was not entirely sure. The ghosts can either stay caught in a loop of doing nothing, or they can find their purpose within the hotel. The tourists decide they like messing with people’s minds after their fun time with John, Sally has her way with the druggies coming thru the hotel to shoot up, Miss Evers keeps the hotel sheets clean and Mr. March likes to continue his good work of killing. I wonder if Tristan’s spirit will remain in the hotel.

The Ten Commandments killer struck again, this time it was “thou shalt not take the Lord’s name in vain.” I lost track of how many he has killed so far. If you remember, could you tell me in the comments section below? John wants desperately to help with the case, but his partner tells him that they already have someone in custody for the killings. Maybe we will see that one play out next week.

Where Alex stashed the vampire children living in the pool? What happened with the vampire children that were created by Alex when she saved Max from dying? Who (if anyone) is going to take The Countess down? She has created many enemies by this point and I have a feeling Mr. March could be one of them. We do get to see the two of them together in next week’s installment and my theory that she was his wife might be proven to be true.

What did you think of last night’s American Horror Story: Hotel? Did baby Bart freak you out? How scary was Kira who haunts the fifth floor? She reminded me a little too much of the little girl from The Ring. Let me know what you think in the comments section below.

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The Nerdling has an unhealthy obsession with books, the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and Star Wars. She finds hockey to be the best sport in the world (Go Dallas Stars!) and is working on her first novel, but mostly glowers at a blank screen. You can find her on Twitter @nerdlingstale on Facebook @NerdlingTales or Instagram @nerdling_tales

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