AHS Hotel – Hotline Bang

Spoilers for “She Gets Revenge”

The Honeymoon is Over

The Countess tries to file a report for her missing husband, but ghost Will comes in during the interview and messes up her plans by telling the detectives he was lost in the hallways for a few days. After the detectives leave an angry Will wants to know what The Countess’s next move is. She is not in his will and cannot inherit his empire when his body inevitably turns up in some alleyway somewhere. Lachman stands to inherit the company if he makes it to when he turns 18 and his legal guardian will control the company until that time. I guess he forgot he made The Countess the legal guardian of Lachman. She tells Will if both he and Lachman are good, she won’t kill Lachman, just make him a blood relative.

Killer Family Reunion

John has completed his ninth kill and almost completed his collection. Sally and March are both proud of his work so far and March has plans for John after he completes the TCK persona. John wants to reconnect with his wife and confront her about his suspicions as to what she has become and where Holden has really been. Alex confesses that she became a vampire to be with Holden forever and both of them agree that they are the worst parents ever for abandoning Scarlett. First things first, Alex needs John’s help in dealing with the vampire children she made by accident.

Image Courtesy of FX

Image Courtesy of FX

The Countess has noticed on the news stories of a group of children who are wanted in questioning about a string of murders where people were drained of their blood. She tells Alex that she is to take care of it or The Countess will kill both Alex and Holden. Alex and John go to Max’s house where she had found the children before and find the measles Max spread to the other children when he turned them has gotten worse. Alex convinces the children to come to the hotel where she can help them get better, but it was a trick. Alex and John lock the children in the prison hallway with a very hungry Ramona.

Alex and John fall into bed with one another and John proposes that they two of them not follow thru on their divorce. Alex is a little wary of getting back together, but she likes what she sees in the new John. He seems happier and like he finally has gotten himself together. The two of them decide they are going to take Holden and get out of the hotel and start again (is Scarlett actually going to be a part of this equation?). Sally is fuming over losing John and tells him Alex will leave him again as soon as she finds out what he has been doing in his spare time. In all honesty Alex probably won’t care, she has to kill in order for both her and Holden to survive so she may even enjoy what he does so the threat from Sally feels empty. On their way out of the hotel, Sally shrieks at John that she will find a way to kill him.

Dynamic Duo

You know what I really loved a few episodes back, the Iris and Liz show. They were a great pair together as two women no one at the Hotel Cortez really gave any attention to. Liz showing Iris how it is a power which can be used for some fun and maybe a little revenge on the world was enjoyable. But lately both Iris and Liz are tired of losing those who they love to The Countess and decide they are going to die together as a last chance at taking control of their miserable lives.

Image Courtesy of FX

Image Courtesy of FX

First, Liz has to put her affairs in order so her spirit will not linger in the halls of the Cortez. She has Miss Evers call her son, Douglas, so Liz can reconnect with him. Why in the world Liz would want her son to stay at a hotel filled with killers and vampires is beyond me, but she wants an excuse to talk to him without fully revealing herself. So she has Miss Evers leave Douglas two free drink tickets so he would come to the bar and talk to Liz. Douglas does what most of us do when we go to a quiet bar and he chats up the bar tender. He even compliments her dress before telling Liz all about his work woes and how his wife wants him to move to Boulder, Colorado and open his kayak store. Douglas seems like a really nice guy and Liz is proud to see her son become a good man.

Feeling like she really got a chance to connect with her son, Liz decides she is ready to go. Iris and Liz buy some top notch, modern laundry units for Miss Evers as a way to say thank you, but Liz’s son has come back to the bar and wants to have one last word with Liz. Douglas wanted to let her know that he and his wife are going to move to Boulder and start their business. Also he knows that Liz is his father and he has more than enough room in his life to include her in it.

Liz is over the moon at the idea of being a part of her son’s life and possibly becoming a grandmother. She decides she doesn’t want to go thru with the suicide pact with Iris who has already made herself a tribute video (set to Lee Ann Womack’s “I hope you dance”) as an inspiration to her three followers on Instagram. Iris is devastated at first, but Liz empowers her once again with the idea of taking over the Hotel Cortez and turning it into something beautiful. Liz feels like the two of them should be running the show and I 1000% agree. The last three episodes of Hotel being all about Liz and Iris would be fabulous because Dennis O’Hare and Kathy Bates have been truly superb this season.

All The Countess’s Men

Donovan decides he has to meet Valentino just as Natacha goes to have her girl’s day with The Countess at the Cortez. Both couples have their arguments about who loves whom and who more and who has the real power. Valentino pulls out a saber to deal with Donovan as Natacha brandishes her knife at The Countess, but the two of them have an Indiana Jones moment as Donovan and The Countess shoot and kill Valentino and Natacha. The Countess exclaims “who is the little mouse now,” as Donovan muses that his cheek bones are so much better than Valentino’s. “Cheek bones for days.” He is not wrong.

The Countess tries to get Donovan to clean up her mess yet again by asking him to go into the prison hallway and remove Will’s body and recage Ramona. Donovan has decided he is done being The Countess’s bitch boy and tells her to go and clean up the mess he made in her lover’s hotel room. Devastated about losing her one true love yet again, The Countess comes back to her hotel suite surprised Donovan is still there (dancing and singing along to “Hotline Bling” no less).

Image Courtesy of FX

Image Courtesy of FX

Quick aside: I’m not a fan of Drake at all, I find his music to be really bland, but “Hotline Bling” and his dance just make me happy. More than once I have watched the video when I have had a really crappy day and it puts a smile on my face. Matt Bomer doing the same dance was just perfect. End of aside.

Donovan tells The Countess dying is the only way he can be free to truly love her and she finally understands he is the only person who has been truly hers. Just as she is ready to take him back, Liz and Iris storm into the suite, guns blazing, and discharge all the bullets into The Countess and Donovan.

How great is it the two people The Countess counted out as any kind of danger would be the ones to end her life? Will The Countess now roam the halls of the Cortez now? We know Donovan has gained the love of The Countess and his life is now complete so his spirit is free. How are Liz and Iris going to compete with the crazy amount of evil running around the hotel to make it beautiful?

There will be no more new episodes of American Horror Story: Hotel until January 3rd. Until then, let me know what you think of the season so far. Do you like more of the gore fest this season? Did you enjoy Lady Gaga coming in as the matriarch? Have any of the twists shocked you so far? Let me know what you think in the comments section below.

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About Nerdling

The Nerdling has an unhealthy obsession with books, the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and Star Wars. She finds hockey to be the best sport in the world (Go Dallas Stars!) and is working on her first novel, but mostly glowers at a blank screen. You can find her on Twitter @nerdlingstale on Facebook @NerdlingTales or Instagram @nerdling_tales

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