Sorry for taking so long with this recap. I was pretty sick all this week and getting out of bed to do anything was not gonna happen.
With a show where most of the characters are ghosts, the brilliant parting line from Miss Evers (an altered version of “There are greater things in Heaven and Earth”) would be from the Shakespearean play where ghosts contribute to the tragic outcome. Is the line a clue as to how it will all end?
Spoilers for “Battle Royale”
There was plenty of death in this episode, but no real battles (especially for Ramona Royale) so the title of the episode is really misleading. Things start off with Liz and Iris making a plan as to how to take down the Countess. One thing they should have talked about was how to shoot straight because only a couple of bullets hit the Countess. Of course not all of that was their fault, Donovan threw himself in front of his true love to keep her from taking the majority of the shots fired at them. Iris of course freaked out when she realized she was shooting at her son and stopped Liz before she had a chance to finish the job. Instead of hunting down the Countess, who got away when Iris went to comfort her son, Liz helped Iris take her son out of the Hotel Cortez (at his request) to die so he wouldn’t be trap there with all of the Countess’s other dead lovers for all of eternity.
This finally answers my question as to whether or not Tristan would possibly be trapped there after the Countess killed him. He felt he had no unfinished business (seeing as he found his one true love) so his spirit was able to be free of the hotel’s curse.
Stuck on You
In the meantime, Sally rescues and patches up the Countess using her junky knowledge of veins and feeds the Countess a couple of her vampire children so she can get her strength back. When the children were comforting a near nude and blood covered Lady Gaga, all I could think was “what kind of parent signs off on their kids being in a show where they are around a naked pop star?”
Sally refuses to let the Countess die because she has some serious abandonment issues and she can’t handle another person leaving her. I would go into her sad story of loss, but all you need to know is she sewed herself to two other people because she loved them so much. Then they died while she was still attached to them and the addiction monster tortured her for a few days. Liz’s line about grunge rock being aptly names was pretty damn spot on. I love 90’s grunge rock (it was the soundtrack to my angsty teen years) but she was right about the name and time. It was kinda grungy, but I miss it. Flannel is really comfortable.
That Voodoo You Do
Since Iris and Liz have already failed in killing the Countess, they go to find Ramona in the locked hallway for help. Ramona has managed to feed on all of the vampire kids, but she has caught the strain of measles they had and doesn’t feel well. To kill the Countess, she needs clean blood. Enter Queenie from Season three. (I guess Ryan Murphy decided to finally do a crossover.) Queenie is in town to go and win big on “The Price is Right” and for some reason she chose the Cortez to stay at. Iris and Liz set Queenie up in a room with Ramona hiding in the bathroom. Queenie is a human voodoo doll and any hurts placed on her come upon the p