I wish a big part of me could care less about awards shows. Like Ricky Gervais said in his promos, “Why would you want to watch a bunch of entitled people be given awards?” I wish I could give a better answer than “I want to see who wins, loses, and embarrasses themselves on live TV,” but there it is. At least this year at the Golden Globes there were some interesting surprises and when there are lots of free bottles of champagne running around, there is no shortage of those ready to embarrass themselves. So let’s relive the best, worst, most embarrassing, and face-palm worthy moments of the night.
Best Zingers from Ricky Gervais
“I want to do this monologue and then go into hiding. Not even Sean Penn will find me.” Calling him a snitch was pretty funny as well.
“To be fair, The Martian was a lot funnier than Pixels. But then again, so was Schindler’s List.”
His poke that the award doesn’t mean anything to anyone else was pretty damn funny and would be true except lots of people do care for at least another couple of days, then the Oscar nominations are announced and it is quickly forgotten about. “It’s a bit of metal that some nice old confused journalists wanted to give you in person so they could meet you and have a selfie with you.”
“Our next presenter is the star of the hilarious comedy The Martian… he also the only person who Ben Affleck hasn’t been unfaithful to.” When introducing Matt Damon. Loved Damon’s laugh at that joke like he knows that is true.
“When Brad and Angelina see our next two adorable little presenters, they’re going to want to adopt them.” Introducing Kevin Hart and Ken Jong.
Worst Moments from Ricky Gervais
Seriously, retire the Bill Cosby jokes. They are stale and are a sign that you are not smart enough to come up with something better.
Saying Roman Polanski found Spotlight to be the best date movie ever is pretty stale as well.
The grumbling the show was too long. Yes, we all know it goes one for WAY TOO LONG, but your complaining does not help.
Andy Samberg’s fake recap was so much better than the actual Golden Globes and makes me wish some of those things really did happen like Tom Hanks barfing, Patrick Stewart pulling off his bald cap and revealing his lush head of hair he has had this whole time, the fight to the death over how to spell Kate. Who do you think would win that fight?
“Dude, who is typing this shit?” Love you so much Jamie Alexander.
Oscar Isaac’s look of surprise and happiness when he saw Harrison Ford in the front row was so cute.
“I’m Eva Longoria, not Eva Mendez.”
“And I’m America Ferrera, not Gina Rodriguez.” (Nice stab at the HFP since they mistook her for Rodriguez last year during the ceremony.)
“And neither one of us is Rosario Dawson.”
“Well said, Selma.”
“Thank you, Charo.”
Aziz Ansari’s book (even though he didn’t correctly predict the winner) was perfect.
What in the hell was up with Jonah Hill being the bear from The Revenant bit? And why was it allowed to go on for so long?
Jamie Foxx’s attempt at humor when claiming it was the “first time” he and Lily James have ever met, then the stab at Steve Harvey by announcing the not even nominated Straight Outta Compton as the winner of the Best Original Score was just sad.
It was sweet that he was able to introduce his daughter as Miss Golden Globe, but how many times do you think he could have fit “this young lady” into one sentence? The answer is seven and that is about six too many.
I really hope the movie Jennifer Lawrence and Amy Schumer are writing together is a lot funnier than their presenter shtick they did.
Who thought Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg and their 2016 Glasses would be funny?
Rachel Bloom’s sweet thank yous’ and enthusiasm makes me want to start watching My Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. I know I should have already been watching this show, but it flew under the radar for me. Here is hoping the win will keep the show on the air long enough for me and others to finally discover it.
Matt Damon’s speech was very sweet (“I told [my kids] that if I got on TV I would say something to them… so get ready to go to bed”), and wonderfully honest (“I have made a lot of movies that people just didn’t go see”).
Denzel brining his wife and family up when he accepted the Cecil B. Demille award was sweet. And I love how he kept turning to her for reminders as to what he forgot.
“Cookies for everyone tonight, my treat!” & “I waited 20 years for this, you gonna wait!” Taraji I want you to be my best friend.
Christian Slater for Mr. Robot
John Hamm got it one last time for playing Don Draper!
Silvester Stallone for Creed
Mr. Robot for best Drama in TV!
Even though I do not like Aaron Sorkin, I’m thrilled he won and not Quentin Tarantino for The Hateful Eight.
The crowd was really rowdy from the get go. You could hear them still chattering away long after the commercial breaks were over and people were presenting. I guess they were bored or just antsy for it to be over with quickly.
The cat calling towards Ryan Gosling and Brad Pitt was weird and kinda uncomfortable for me to hear.
Why was Gael Garcia Bernal bleeped out during his acceptance speech?
Leo’s face after Gaga bumped into him is hilarious for some reason.
Ricky Gervais’s bleeped question to Mel Gibson was, “What the fuck does sugar tits mean?”
I’m sure The Martian was categorized as a comedy because the HFP wanted to give both Ridley Scott and Alejandro González Iñárritu awards and make sure that The Martian and The Revenant both one best picture.
UberApe was over the moon Ridley Scott gave the thank you speech for The Martian. He loves Scott so much.
I know Brie Larson winning Best Actress in a Drama was a nice surprise, but was anyone shocked Leo DiCaprio won? Yeah, I thought not.
What did you think of last night’s Golden Globes? Did the people, shows, or movies you were rooting for win? Do you care about the winners at all? If you don’t that is totally okay, I’m kinda jealous of you. Let me know what you think in the comments section.